Archive for September, 2012

Saturday, August 21, 2010

What a difference a day makes. As great as things were yesterday, they’re pretty screwed up today. Ceecee told me this morning that guy has still been texting and emailing her and that she is trying to be a friend to him because his Mom died recently. I didn’t handle it well, and my thoughts were certainly not thoughts of love.
We met for lunch (we both had work at the mall today), and I was still upset and just spewed angry words at her. I didn’t want to, and even as I was saying them, one part of my mind was telling me to stop it and that this wasn’t right, but that part lost. We were going to ride in a little mini charity bike ride tonight called the Moonlight Ride, but I suppose that’s off.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Well, it seems I was right. The last 2 days, Ceecee has written loving things about me on her Facebook. We had our Einstein Bros. Bagel Friday this morning on the way to work and we went for cupcakes and cheesesteaks downtown this evening. Life is good!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Ceecee and I rode our bikes to work today. The kids don’t come until tomorrow, so it was still just a teacher work-day and we figured that would be a good day to ride so we would know how long it took and what it was going to be like. The showers in the locker rooms are pretty awful, but they’ll have to do.

On Facebook, Ceecee wrote, “What a great ride to Ozark with Brian.” It seems crazy and insignificant, but it was the first time she has mentioned me on there since all this has gone on. I took it as important.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

What an amazing and beautiful day today was. Usually I hate these “all staff” first day back and getting ready for the new school year days. This year, with Ceecee and I being restored and in love, it was a joyful day.

Yesterday, I had hoped that the Principal would give people a chance to share any news from over the Summer, so I could share the news. I realized that a lot of people there didn’t even know we had separated because we hid everything at the end of the school year and didn’t stay in touch with many people over the Summer. He never gave the opportunity, so I just told the team that I’m on and a few people during the day.

Today, we were there as happily married husband and wife and it was pretty special.

Monday, August 16, 2010

I rode to Ozark this morning. It was pretty cool. Ceecee went to the gym and swam 60 laps. Unbelievable. Her goal is 2 miles.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Pretty disappointing and confusing morning today. The part of our life that is still way out of whack is our spiritual life. Mine is better than ever, but Ceecee is still having a really hard time with that aspect.

She is very angry at our old church for not helping or being there for us when we were having our problems and she has been angry at God for not intervening when I messed up. I know that she still believes and that God has worked in her life to bring us to this point, but she’s not where she needs to be.

Anyway, she agreed to go to church with me this morning to North Point, the church I’ve been to a couple of times. We’ve talked about it several times and she was pretty nervous about it because of her tattoo and all, but I’ve told her that it won’t matter there. So we went and I had high hopes that she would like it and that God would have something on tap that would speak to her.

Instead of having regular church, they were having some kind of panel discussion about the past, present, and future of the church. They just sat up there and talked about the church’s history and what they have planned. When we were leaving, Ceecee said it was a waste of time and she was kind of upset.

I didn’t know what to say or do, but I knew I needed to not react the way I used to. I knew that I needed to not judge her or be upset with her, so I just tried to be understanding and be concerned about her, not myself. I felt terrible and I also was a bit disappointed that God hadn’t answered my prayers. I was kind of like, “Really? This is what we got her first time back to church in months?”

Today is our last day of Summer vacation and I go back to school tomorrow. Ceecee doesn’t report until Tuesday. I am soooo thankful that we’re back together. I can’t imagine what we would be doing if we hadn’t worked things out.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Ceecee was angry this morning before I left. She said it was because she had really wanted to be in the triathlon and she’s upset that she can’t be. She went off to run 17 miles with her group while I headed back to Republic.

The atmosphere at the Tiger tri was really amazing. It was extremely well put on and was a great experience. The crazy thing is that my worst fear was having a flat tire and I did. I even went to a bike shop and bought new tubes yesterday as an extra precaution, but about 11 miles into the bike race, my front tire was gone.

I’m not good enough at changing flats to do it quickly and I was only about a mile from the transition area so I just got off and ran my bike in. I was so disappointed because I felt like I had been doing pretty well up to that point, but then I was really tired during the run. I actually struggled with some doubt as to whether I was going to make it as the run went on, but I kept thinking of my wife and praying for strength.

Crossing the finish line was indescribable. It was really hot and they had people with cold, soaking wet towels who literally took hold of us as we came in, put one of these towels on us and put drinks into our hands. I was a bit disoriented from the heat and from being so exhausted, so I just kind of wandered around a little bit in the grassy area off to the side.

After a few minutes, I went inside to the restroom and then it really hit me when I came back outside. All the emotion going back for all those months just caught up to me and I just lost it and cried right there in front of everybody. Then I just wanted to get to Ceecee more than anything.

I met her at the Meyer Center about 30 minutes later with Einstein Bros. Bagels and she was pretty wiped out from her run. We both had to work today, so we got to spend a few minutes together there in the lobby and then we had to shower and change and go to our jobs.

So that was it. The triathlon is over and I did it and our marriage is back together again and better than it ever was before.