Saturday, July 31, 2011

I don’t even know how to write this. I did the mock triathlon this morning and it was totally amazing! I completed it, but the run was so hard. I wasn’t sure I would make it and I just started saying Ceecee’s and Jesus’ names out loud and kept taking another step. I finally got to the finish line totally exhausted, but with a satisfaction as well.

I went home and about 10 minutes later my phone rang. It was Ceecee and I’ll never forget what she said. She asked me, “Are you ready to call your landlord and give him your 30 day notice and come move in with me?” I didn’t know what else to say, so I just said, “Yes.” She asked me if I was sure and I said I had wanted this and prayed for this all along, so yes I was sure.

We got off the phone and I kind of fell backward onto my bed and I just laid there and cried for about 30 minutes. It just all came out. All the emotion and fear and struggle just poured out of me and I let it. I don’t really know exactly how long it was and I didn’t care. Then, after a while, I wanted to tell Taylor. He hadn’t come out of his bedroom and I didn’t know if he was awake or not. I knocked on his door and he answered and I told him about the phone call. A few minutes after that, Joe called. I answered and told him, “I’m crying this morning, but it’s tears of joy today.”

I had to work at Macy’s and Ceecee showed up with Angie and they both seemed so happy and excited. Ceecee and I walked off by ourselves and she kept telling me that she loved me and that she was sorry. I’ll never forget the way she looked at me.

She also said she had made some mistakes and done things she wasn’t proud of. I told her it didn’t matter and that if I had been faithful and had been the man of God that she believed me to be, that none of this ever would have happened and that she would have never been put in the position she was. I told her that I took responsibility for everything that had happened and I meant it.

I asked her how she wanted all this to work and she said that she needed a day or two to clear her head and get things ready, so she wanted me to move in on Monday. That would also give us time to figure out what would happen with Taylor. He would still have 30 days in the apartment and either he would get taken into the Air Force during that time, or we would make whatever arrangements needed to be made.

Somehow I had always believed that completing the triathlon would trigger us getting back together, but I never considered the mock tri. The real triathlon is still two weeks away. I have no idea what, if anything, me crossing that finish line this morning had to do with anything, but my faith has always been strong for this and today it has all come to fulfillment. Now to get through the next two days and our marriage starts over!

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