Monday July 12, 2010

I’m not going to lie; I’m really scared. We had a big fight last night and it was worse than I could have imagined. I don’t even know what started it or how it happened.

When I got to the mall to pick Ceecee up, she seemed kind of off. I don’t know what was wrong, but I probably should have just called the whole thing off. It was just that I had a bunch of food with me in the car and I had such big plans and ideas about the night. I was so excited that I kind of ignored her bad mood and figured that it would go away once we got to her place and she got to eat.

Once we were there, she was tense and I don’t know if I said something wrong or what, but she said she wasn’t hungry and didn’t want to eat. I told her just to relax and let’s try to have fun. I suggested that maybe we could eat on the floor and play cards or a game .

We started to, but she wasn’t into it. Everything was building up toward this confrontation that I didn’t want, but I also felt like I needed to talk to her about love and what Kevin and I talked about, so I did. I told her that I didn’t think she really understood what it was to love unconditionally and that the way God loves us was the same way that we were supposed to love each other.

She got really angry and threw my words back in my face and told me to leave. I tried to get her to see that she was overreacting, but she was too upset. At first I wouldn’t leave and I told her, no, that she needed to hear this. It only made it worse and I ended up leaving anyway when she was furious with me.

Today I am spending the day in fasting and prayer. I don’t know what else to do. I called one of her friends in the hopes that maybe she either has some insight into what’s going on or maybe she’ll talk to her and encourage her to work things out.

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