Archive for June, 2012

Monday, May 24, 2010

Jury duty it is. A trial over a guy tripping and falling in a medical clinic and suing the clinic. The judge says two to three days, so I guess summer vacation will be postponed. Ceecee had an idea to take Taylor to run trails at the nature center south of town. We are getting him ready to go into the Air Force after he graduates.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Ceecee ran with her group again this morning and then we hurried off to The Hill in St. Louis. The weather was great and we ate outside at Milo’s, a bar and grill right in the heart of The Hill on Marconi St. They have bocce courts and there was a wedding party that was playing while we ate. It was both fun and funny to watch them in their tuxes and dresses out there playing bocce. Like before, while we were there, it almost seemed like our problems weren’t happening. Like we stepped away from our troubled reality and into a make-believe world where we were still Brian and Ceecee.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Pretty ironic ending to the day, the week, and the school year today. Two friends of ours got married tonight and we went to their wedding. We’ve known them for a long time and have seen them go through a lot of stuff with each other and with their ex’s. I couldn’t help thinking how nobody there had a clue what was going on with us and how shocked they would be if they knew. It kind of broke my heart to see them celebrating finally tying the knot, while ours was unravelling.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Today was the last full day of school for this year. We have a half day tomorrow, but it won’t amount to much. These last couple of months have really been tough because we work together at school. It’s not like we fight or say bad things to each other, but we always used to seem so close and people have always been used to us just being a great couple and they have to be able to tell that things are different.

Ceecee went to a thing for her Galloway group at the Starting Block tonight and got fitted for new running shoes. They do a video analysis of them running and then pick out shoes to match their style. I’ve never heard of the brand she got – Mizuno – but I was happy for her to see her excited.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Ceecee says on Facebook that she’s wondering why things can’t be clear and easy. I don’t know what that means. Sometimes I think she still wants everything to work out and sometimes I think she’s already gone.

Monday, May 17, 2010

It was really weird. Last night, right before I went to bed, I got an email that said, “Need help in your marriage?” I thought it was spam, so I ignored it. Today, I got curious and I went ahead and read it. It was from a guy named Mort Fertel, who apparently is some kind of marriage big shot. It said I visited his website and signed up for the free information – which I didn’t – but I went ahead and looked at what he had to say and it’s pretty interesting.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Things are not good. The weather had been rainy and dreary and we’re stuck inside and not really getting along. I kept trying to get Ceecee to tell me about St. Louis and she didn’t want to talk about it. Finally I asked her what her favorite part was and she said it was being alone in the room without me. I wanted to burst into tears, but I knew that would only make it worse so I just kind of sat there in shock. I mean, I understand that she says I’ve been smothering her and that she wants a break from what she feels has become a codependent relationship, but I can’t deal with this.

I went to pick up a movie from redbox this afternoon and when I got there, I just sat in my car in the parking lot and cried. I can’t believe any of this is happening and I can’t lose my wife. Finally I called Angie and told her what was going on. She was really upset and couldn’t understand it either. In a way it felt good to tell someone, but I hate that it hurts Angie also.